nEw mE pRoJecT!!!

Hey boo,

I hereby launch the NEW ME PROJECT...!

Current status...



and the target...



hehe

I know... I know.... but one can dream...

Bless...

~ShaZ

yOu GiVe aNd hUrT!

Hey Boo,

History has a funny way of repeating itself... the players are different, the plot may be a bit different... but in the end the whole story line is just the SAME!!! Well... this bitch just doesn’t seem to learn. That’s my problem... I get attached to quickly... far too quickly for many. I guess it’s like putting a relationship on steroids lah I guess... it will flourish at first but after that just thwart and die... or worst still, jump back up all mutated and bites you right in the ASS or stab you in the neck!

So this is my story...

I have this funny habit of getting attached to people... especially those I am stuck with for long periods of time. Most of the time I try to keep to myself but at times you just give way... what the heck... you say... then you start to care! This is the biggest mistake! Don’t care! Never ever care! If you don’t care you don’t get hurt. It’s simple really... doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out... but saying it is one thing. Most of the time you heart is too stupid to know better... and you care... for the love of god you care...

then there’s this other problem...

when you care... you give... you give with all your heart. You share thoughts. You give and give and give... but sometimes, what you give is misunderstood... misinterpreted... you are accused of this horrible horrible horrible HORRIBLE thing... and it is entirely untrue. Which is why is hurts... and because you care, it hurts so much more.

So much much more.

This is the second time in the past two months this has happened... perhaps it is not them... perhaps it is ME... I don’t know... but logic tells you that everyone else cannot be wrong.
Still it hurts!

Damn right it hurts!

And it gets worse... yes it really does!

When I look back... all those things I did... those things I gave... they were all WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! So wrong in so many ways...
So now I have to let go... no matter how painful it is... I am working hard... to let go... to forget!

This probably means nothing to all of you out there... but to me it’s a lesson... a very important one.

Beri pada yang minta...
Manja pada yang saying...
Minta pada yang ada...


Bless...

ShaZ

NuMa NuMa

Hey Boo,

something to cheer us up...

a NeW dAy hAs cOmE...

Boo,

It's been a while since I have posted anything... a whole lot has happened... I guess that ordeal with WordPress put me off... such a let down... two years worth of posts... all down the drain. In a way I guess it's like being able to erase those time from my memories. Although not all were bad. In fact, looking back now... I haven't much to complain for... not much at all.

So...

Updates...

Well... let's start from November 07'

I got engaged on the 11th November 2007. A few weeks after the loss of my late brother in law to liver cancer.

I quit UM at the end of March 2008 and joined Solution Engineering Sdn Bhd in April 2008... after a month I decided it wasn't the job for me and I left to rejoin UM as Prof. Nik's research assistant. After a month.... I decided that wasn't for me (yep... again!) what a bitch I turned out to be ... and now here I am... unemployed... but I am happy... and fat... but that's another issue.

My thesis... now that's an issue... yeah bitch!!!
Well... since then... I have made progress... not............!!!!! How do I put it... I am not more now than I was right after I graduated... aside from being fat and older...

Well... I guess life has a funny way of progressing...

I guess this is a good start towards a new beginning... may there be many many many posts to come...

In the meantime... gawk at this...




Amen...

ShaZ

Back here?!

Hey boo,

At this point I can say I've finally given up on reviving my previous Wordpress blog. It's just useless... I know I'd just be attacked by some spambot again. I hate the fact that I'd be losing about a year's worth of posts. But losing a year is better than losing everything I guess.

Bless...

I've MoVeD...

Hey all,
I know it's a little late to be announcing... but I've moved my blog HERE

cOuRtiNg diSasTeR...

Hey boo,
I just know I am courting disaster at work by taking up too many things... well, actually it's not too many but with my lack of progress anything more can't be a good thing... but I am thinking 'some people work better under pressure' and I figured a little more could give me that little pressure I need... to get some action finally...
So, I enrolled myself on an online Masters level course from DTU (Netherlands) on Environmental Management... Today was my first day, having an online class... quite the experience... this is how my classroom looks like.

the class left for lunch and I need something to eat too... you can see the lecturer there...
Gosh I have so much to b*tch about lately... but so little time to do it...
maybe tomorrow... hehehe
Bless...

SiCk...

Hey boo...
today I got my very first medical leave (mc) from my doctor... I've never taken sick leave ever... and that tradition didn't break... to my stubbornness, I stayed in UM the whole day... f*ck was it a bad idea...
Now, I've swallowed tonnes of pills, nauseated, hungry (but cannot eat), and bloody feverish... hope i make it home tonight in one piece... ameen...
bless all of you...
~ShaZ

a GifT fRoM a FrEn...

Thanx Salam...
here we go...a lil' promo for you...

wtf...?!

Was doing my thing when I came accross this... WTF?!
Under Construction writes about how you can get in trouble with yer bloggies...
you can't shit without getting in trouble eh?!
heh...?! how's that for anti-establishment... *wink*

wtf...?!

After walking in the dreadful heat from Dewan Tunku Canselor... I can still smile... I was in charge of calling out the names of graduates from the Chemical Engineering Dept.... heh...

so... baby hippo or baby cow?!!! calf u idiot

TeN miSeRabLe dAyS iNtO 25...

So it really has been ten miserable days into my twenty-fifth year on earth and I am still clueless... still getting daily lectures from this reflection of me saying "... where the fuck do you think you are going?!.... hey guess what, it's a new year and you're still a bitch... geez man you FAT..." and every now and then "... fuck you dang you, make yourself useful why don't... go screw some gurls or something..." and if I get really lucky "FUCK OFF!!!"
Actually, reflecting my current situation (to others) I haven't much to complain about... there you go bicth... contradict yourself... I am quite comfortable here in UM... getting my monthly paycheck on the 23rd of every month, lecturing one to two hours four days a week, and watering the assortment of cacti that is my collection every Wednesdays. Heh!?
Ramblings aside...
updates are called for...

aBouT mE...

Tagged by Bill/Will. Lets see, ahems......... here we go

10 YEARS AGO I WAS :
a virgin;
just registered to this HellHole called Sekolah Menengah Sultan Abdul Samad after being abroad for a few years. Joining the Malaysian education system straight into Form 3 is not recommended. There’re subjects like BM, Geog, History, and Islamic Religion that are totally alien subjects to me… I was placed in a ‘bad’ class… had a feel of what it’s like in a delinquent class…
fat and I weighted more than 90 kgs at that time.

5 YEARS AGO I WAS :
still a virgin;
19 years old…

1 YEAR AGO I WAS :
still a virgin;
still 19 years old…;
CEO of a company; Living in a luxury condo on Gurney Drive, Penang;
never thinking about my spendings;
fit… shit what am I doing here now?!

YESTERDAY I WAS :
working in my office until almost 10 pm…;
laid… yeah, like that’ll ever happen here…;
writing my research project progress report for the HR office to extend my work contract;
blogging.

5 MOST RECENT SONGS I LISTENED TO :
May It Be - Enya
Jezebel - Sade
No Scrub - TLC
Hips Don’t Lie - Shakira
Falling in to you – Celine Dion

5 SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO :
Don’t Speak – No Doubt
errmm….
Hmmm…
Baa Baa Black Sheep
Twnikle Twinkle Little Star…
this is hard… and pathetic…

IDEAL PLACES FOR RUNNING AWAY TO :
HOME
HOME
HOME

5 THINGS I REALLY WANT :
My Masters Degree
A new notebook…
A raise -stole this from Will
a set of ½” tubular membrane set for MWCO of 50k, 100k, 150k and 200k
I want my 32” waist again…

5 THINGS I SHOULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW :
Running my experiments;
Writing my report;
Reading the ten thousand journal papers on my desk;
Drinking coffee;
I am going to say drinking coffee again.

5 BIGGEST JOYS IN MY LIFE :
Family
Friends
my PS2
Family…
errr Family…!!!

5 PEOPLE I TAG :
I don’t think that many people come here… anyways I tag:
FaRaH
Sleepin Beauty
Yenshiong
NeLLe
AmaT tue kutuk!!! coz I have noone else

Performancing...?!

Hey Boo...
So today I was doing some housekeeping for my PC and found some nice extensions for Firefox... Performancing... helps you post onto your blogs... I think it's cool...
We'll try more tomorrow okay... Bless...
~ShaZ

mY LiFe

Hey boo,

I’ve been really tired lately… investing most of my life into work and education. I leave home at seven in the morning everyday and I don’t come back until after 8 pm. It seems that the more I put in, the more things come up… what’s worse is all these things are little donkey errands that no one wants. The kind of work that nobody cares to appreciate… and being the junior staff makes me the default candidate for these things.

Then there’s also my research work… which is stagnant by the way; and it’s my entire damned fault because I don’t have the freakin’ heart to say “… this is not in my f*&king job description… so go &*%$ yourself!”
So I guess I was fated to run errands… I really shouldn’t say more…

Getting down on work… what do you do when going home at 8 pm everyday is not enough to get work done?
disconnect the damn computer at the office and lug the blasted thing home…

So… back to work then…

Bless…
~ShaZ

QueAsY

Hey boo…
I’ve had 3 cups of coffee, a cup of Milo and a cup earl grey… and I am feeling a bit queasy from reading too many articles from Science Direct so I thought I’d check in for a quick post…
Yesterday was my first meet with our new Vice Chancellor… Datuk Rafiah Salim… she delivered the officiating speech for UM Graduate Month 2006 and I was quite impressed. I like her speech.
Oh dear… I guess queasiness is getting to me… so I’ll stop here…
Bless…
~ShaZ

NiCe sOnG

Hey boo,
I’ve a new addiction… this is a beautiful song.

aBouT noThiNg aT aLL...

Hey boo,
Forgive the lack of updates, this time it is deliberate… for some time now I’ve noticed that if I post too often I tend to write too much… so much so that I might reveal more than is appropriate… don’t get me wrong, I am all for the ‘open book’ lifestyle and all but sometimes there are issues or secrets that doesn’t belong to us; thus making it inappropriate to write somewhere everyone can read… I can see that like most bloggers I am being vague… but then hey… that’s the way it ought to be… :)
So to post on my current activities…
I should say that last week was rather productive. What with a research assistant by my side, courtesy of NMS, there have been some progress in my research… finally… aside from revamping one of our membrane dedicated laboratory, the RA, Fauzi, is also helping with my research work… for the past week he’s been helping me with the compiling of literature thereby marking the infant steps of progress in my research project. I’ve also managed to set aside a few documentation tasks assigned by the Head leaving me just a little more on the IChemE accreditation form… I should say that this will be behind me soon enough…
The students’ exam result is finally released today… my worry is that with the number of failures for my subject I’d be marked as the ‘killer’ staffs in the Department. God only knows how much I’ve tried to help but the subject proves to be rather difficult for a large chunk of my class… now I know for a fact that the last thing a lecturer wants is for a student to fail his or her subject… oh well… I guess all will turn out well. Life has a way of being like that most of the time… I mean I graduated fine now, didn’t I?!
This post must have taken a wrong turn somewhere… I don’t know what else to write…
Bless…
~ShaZ

tHe pAsT tWo WeeKs...!!!

Hey Boo,
It’s been two weeks since my last post… flowers have bloomed, Vice Chancellors have changed (the University of Malaya have had the honor… or not… we’ll see)… and I have gained weight… *sigh* I feel like 200 kilos of lard… been eating like there’s no tomorrow…
So what do I choose to post about the past few weeks…

About bitches and shopping carts :
I was at Giants in Taman Connaught last weekend, Saturday afternoon, to do some grocery shopping and boy was the place crowded… I didn’t mind the crowd too much but it’s the attitude of the crowd that pissed me off a little. Well, for starters, there’s a big crowd… so you’d expect the place to be cramped with mothers and kids staring at aisles and aisles of stuff to buy… but what you don’t expect is their leaving their shopping carts all over the place while they stare down at whether they should get the curry flavored Maggi mee or curry flavored Mammee mee… I mean, if you see someone trying their best to maneuver their shopping carts to pass through, you’d feel some obligation to move your f8cking cart an inch or two to make way right?!!... but no… they’d rather take their sweet f8cking time and let the other person wait creating a shopping cart jam behind him… I was SOOO tempted to yell out “hey bitch!!! Move you big fat f8cking cart!!!” I mean get that f8cking mee and move… so okay, after a long and agonizing wait she finally decides to move her damn cart without the slightest feeling of remorse and the crowd behind me finally manage to move on… after a challenging maneuver that would leave the US Air Force in awe, passing through a bunch of male foreign workers holding hands and two teenage couples that had trouble walking because they were walking so close together it looked like they were Siamese twins fused at their asses… theirs this you couple and their baby in the cart so conveniently placed across the aisle so no one could pass while mommy decides whether to get daddy the green or blue briefs… the wait starts again… I mean if we say “excuse me…” I am sure we’d get one of those “Tak reti nak sabar ker..?” or the “Takleh tunggu sekejap ker..?” from these kinds of people… I mean, hello… you ingat bapak you punye shopping mall ker… from that I can conclude, people park their carts as recklessly as they do their cars… so they should have some mall police writing tickets to these SOBs… phewwwsss… that’s that then…

About OTO Big Foot: reflexology foot massager :
So we’ve had this thing lying in the house for a few weeks now… everyone seems to love sticking their feet into the two holes on top of this thing and relax while it massages your two sore feet for ten minutes or so… but not me… no sir…
So, last Friday night I decided to try again, after I’ve had some discomfort trying it the last time… I mean I paid over two thousand Ringgit for the thing, I was thinking that I should get at least some pleasure from it right… so I stuck my feet in and started the machine… it felt quite good at first… then it started to hurt at the ball of my feet… not too much though so I figure it’s the machine doing its thing… so at the end of the program I took my feet out, blood circulation improved and all *wink* with a bonus blister on both the ball of my feet… ouch… I yelped when I stood up putting some pressure on my feet… so for the past two days, I’ve been walking like I am wearing an invisible high heeled shoes… conclusion… no Big Foot for me…my feet are too thick I think… so the pressure is too much… I mean everyone else don’t get the problem so I must be me… *sigh*

About eating too much :
Meeting = Food

Chemical Engineering Undergraduate Research Day 2006 = Food X3 = coffee breakX2 + Lunch

3 day Workshop in PD = Food X18 = (b’fast + coffee breakX3 + lunch + dinner + supper) X3 days

So I’ve been eating too much…

Ok for now…
Bless…
~ShaZ

I aM SoOoO noT mUsiCaL...!!!

Hey boo,
I was helping a blogger friend get some music on her blog when I got this idea… what if I did something really stupid today?! Like sing and post it… well I did… and here it is…

I think that's quite enough... I am no singer… so don’t criticize okay… I didn’t know what to sing at first… err… I still don’t actually… in case you were wondering, that was actually Don’t Speak… hehe
I think it’d be nice to be able to speak out some of my future posts… that way I can be more expressive rite?! Hmmm… oh well…
Bless…
~ShaZ