Friday, September 18, 2009

SeLaMaT HaRi RaYa...

Dear Boo,

Selamat Hari Raya to all.

Come what may...

This Ramadhan ends with a pleasant surprise from the Almighty Allah. Faridah is now 7 weeks pregnant. We are expecting another baby. May he or she be healthy and properous always.

We are driving back to Penang today. All those I love will be close to me. How generous life has been. I hope everyone is as fortunate.

SI, thanks for all your support. Happy Birthday again.

Bless...

~ShaZ

posted from my iPhone

Thursday, September 17, 2009

nO cOmPRoMiSeS...

Hey Boo,

It’s always when there is a crisis that I turn to you for comfort… for some sense of release and closure. I guess it’s because you’re the only one that I can completely honest with. No secrets… no regrets… and no charges…

I don’t think it’s fair that I am always given choices… ultimatums… I hate them… especially when it involves people that you so dearly love… how can you choose one from the other? In this case it’s a lose-lose situation for me no matter what the choice. I don’t know. Maybe I attract problems like this. Even though it’s just a matter of compromise on one party for it to be a win-win situation... Why should I give in? Why should I be at the losing end?

In this case… when it comes to family… I will never ever compromise… no matter what the price!
Despite Eid being just around the corner… I feel so alone.



I like Salam’s statement today: “… before we turn to stone”

I can’t help but to wonder whether it’s too late in my case though… whether I have already turn to stone…

Well…

I have shed enough tears over this matter!

Come what may…

Bless…

~ShaZ

Saturday, September 05, 2009

nONsEnSe fRoM tHe NiGhT...

Hey Boo,
I managed to squeeze gym in today's schedule. Thanks to Faridah
working late today. It wasn't a great workout but I managed to break
out some sweat... So I guess it wasn't so bad. Sham wanted me to edit
some of the dates on the invoices that I gave him yesterday. Something
about the accountant wanting the invoice and PO dates to match. Beats
me... As long as I get paid I don't really care what dates he want on
those invoices.
<i>meanie</i> was on IM too today. I am glad that every day this
bothers me less and less. Although there is a little part of me deep
inside that hopes and longs for a hello. Hmmmm. What's past should
stay that way. I doesn't hurt to reminisce though. Even though SI
doesn't agree.
Mr. KAZ seem to think that I should approach <i>meanie</i> and get it
over with. He thinks that I should just let it all go and pretend
nothing happened. Perhaps he's right. Perhaps that might just do the
trick. Or... Perhaps it could make things worse. Perhaps I will be
badly humiliated. Perhaps I will get hurt somemore. Perhaps. Perhaps.
Perhaps. Let it go <s>bitch</s>. It's time to move on.
...
...
Thesis?
Now there's something that should be bothering me... For some reason
it's just lingering. I never could get much progress. Not without
some sort of interuprion that is. Pisses me off really.
You know what else pisses me off? The fact that you can't upload
pictures on blogger using iPhone. Well. At least I don't know how that
is. For now anyways.
Fauzi must be in enjoying Sweden now. I hope all is well for him
there. Even though I don't agree with him wasting six months there I
hope he has a good time and learn a thing or two. Perhaps Faridah is
right. Opportunities like this doesn't come often. But six months is a
long time. But then again who am I to talk about wasting time. I am
spending four years just to finish my damned masters degree. I mean
people caN do two PhDs with that much time.
Sigh.
Well. It's almost 3 AM and 3 G sucks. I'll try and post this.

Bless.

~ShaZ

Sent from my iPhone

Thursday, September 03, 2009

sTrEsS...

Hey Boo,

It’s been a while since I posted anything… aside from pictures and one liners that is.

Life’s been pretty stressful lately. The pressure of completing my thesis is really starting to get to me. That and many other things... Why do I keep stressing myself over trivial things??? Maybe I am just an idiot… Why can’t life be clear and simple?


If one wants to cuddle it should be simple and clear…

Why is there always a need for so much drama in life? The meanie ordeal is still fresh in my mind… meanie still affects my state of mind. Even when meanie logs on IM it bothers me… I keep telling myself it’s all behind me but deep inside I know… it still bothers me.


I miss meanie… soo much


Bless…

~ShaZ