GeTting iNto tHe MooD...

Hey Boo,

On moving on with life...
1. I can't help but feel like I'm somewhat untested at times. After submitting the thesis finally I feel the need to fill in the gap that was left behind by the urgency to submit. Now I'm allowed to think about other things. I can move on. I can test myself... what I'm capable of achieving. Finally I will be tested.
2. I have mixed feeling on the move... Part of me is sad to leave all the luxuries and comforts that we've had all this while. Another party of me is excited by the possibilities. There's also another part that feels nervous... I don't know how things will turn out. But i'll do my best to make the best best of what I have now. God give me strength...

On travelling...
3. Yesterday was the first time that I was on a plane that made a u-turn on the runway. I thought it was rather amusing.
4. A friend said it's difficult to find cute stewards these days... I agree.
5. Killing time at McDonalds seems like a good idea but very calorie intensive...

Rants...
6. Cute guys that travel with their moms are super adorable...

Self development....
7. I'm starting the book of ideas today. I have the book... Just need those ideas. Will report in in a few days.
8. Need to re-list my expenditure. Don't ever want to lose sight!
9. Need to lose weight! This project shall commence immediately.
10. Need to sort ot my products. I start taking care of myself again...

Bless...

ShaZ

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.3

suNdAy MoRniNg RaNtS...

I want to be sexy...

Hey Boo,

On marriage...
1. Marriage is about understanding each other... Which actually means taking as much insult and nagging you can take from your wife/husband everyday with the realisation... This is the person that I married and I have to live with this person for the rest of my life.
2. Marriage is about communication... Which actually means you listen and listen and listen to everything, from compliments to insults, and never ever reciprocate... The proper respond to everything is nodding and agreeing. From experience I can say... Women don't want to actually talk, nor do they want to listen... They actually just need an endorsement from you on what they actually already decided in their mind.
3. Marriage is about tolerance... Which actually means taking as much shit as you can and not utter a word to express discomfort or disagreement.
4. Marriage is about helping each other... Which actually means doing everything you are told to do and not whine about it... And... Listening to everything she has done for you again and again and again...

On my thesis...
5. Actually submitting the final hardbound copy gives me much relief. I'm happy that I can close this chapter of my life. If there is one thing that I learn from this six years of wasted time is sometimes you just have to do it! And it took me six years to learn this. Family and loved ones give support but contradicting-ly takes up all your time... I don't blame them though... I just had to get my urgents and importants right.
6. Sometimes... And I do mean sometimes, all it takes is a little magic. For this I an starting to believe in miracles!About Life...
7. I need to pick up the listing out things to do again. Things have been getting a little sloppy lately.
8. I need to geta book to write my ideas down. They come and if you don't kot them down you'll forget. I read somewhere that it's be good to just capture them as they come along.

About Debts...
9. You must never lose sight of what you're doing. Always be clear on your undertakings and commitments... Otherwise, before you know it you're fucked. Always plan an exit our recovery just in case things get bad. I find that it's also good to write things down. It'll give tipu a clearer picture. Not nicer mind you... Just clearer. Debts are sure one ugly sight to see.
10. Sometimes you need to sell your pride to setle things. I'll keep the details to myself though...

Bless...

ShaZ

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

wE sHouLdaLL sTaY caLm

Boo,
Let's just start with the ten items...
1. Submitting the final copy of the hardbound thesis to the dean's office today was one of the most liberating feeling i've had in a very long time. I'm glad that this chapter in my life can finally be concluded. I am sure those around me must feel the same...
2. Some people are just nice. Like my boss... He buys me clothes... Me like!
3. "it's time to make money!" That's the new motto!
4. Money problems are hard... but having someone tup share it with and talk to is god sent...
5. I am worried. But it is not warranted!
6. Things are finally moving in the right direction for me. I can help people again. Having needed people's help all the time is so depressing.
7. I am fst! Need to loose weight!
8. I am so pissed with the management skills of some people. If you change plans the last minute how are people going to accommodate? Stupid you are.
9. To go or not to go... Kuching. Looks like I have to go.
10. I am flying to Alor Setar next week. Sigh.

Bless...

ShaZ

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

reCaP...

Hey Boo,

Let’s try and capture the recent developments as promised…

1. Last Friday I managed to get Prof. Nik’s signature on my corrections, printed out the final copy of my thesis and sent it out for hard cover binding. At last I can almost put this chapter behind me now.

2. Stayed home on Saturday to rest because we were all unwell and wanted to avoid the traffic congestion due to the roadblocks.

3. I learnt that a life with lesser secrets is a life fareasier to manage. So I am progressively tabling out all my complications. Let people see and judge me for who I really am… Progressively being the key word here of course.

4. I learnt that sometimes you just have to do thing the long way to please certain people. When it comes to people that you so dearly love, there are never shortcuts. You just have to do your best to care… and caring is my specialty I guess…

5. I also have come to the conclusion that I have to reduce my weight… by a lot! So this will be the next project! Not so easy to accomplish seeing that I am always hungry by 11 am… but I will have to try…

6. I learn that when it comes to sex and flirting, you just have to keep things simple and honest. Let them call it as they see it… no pretences… believe me it’d spare both parties the awkwardness afterwards.

7. The easiest way to get hold of your life if you think it’s getting to messy and hectic is to write down what you need to do and tackle the list one item at a time. I have started this and trying to make it a habit. It really does make things easier.

8. Sexy is a must! I changed my desktop from sexy Kellan Lutz’s six pack abs to nature backgrounds and I really think that I am less productive… Conclusion… Sexy is a must!

9. Another good advice that I can give isto pay your bills on time. Don’t let it snowball into an unmanageable sums… I learnt this the hard way. Even if you can pay the whole sum, make it a point to pay a portion that you can afford to pay… as long as you pay… you’re alright.

10. Stay focused. Read the horoscopes or even talk philosophy with your boss… if it helps you stay focused on the basis of your life and what keeps you going… do it… do it every day! Make sure you know where you’re going to and where you want to end up.

In the meantime, enjoy this sexy! Adam Phebus…

I wish...

Bless…

~ShaZ~

Test test

This is my first blog using the samsung tablet. Seems to be manageable.
Trying to insert a picture...
Bless...
ShaZ

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

rEvAMp...

Hi Boo,

There are so many happenings in the last 6 months it feels like forever since I last popped in here. Since I joined Dr. Aziz life’s getting a little better. Things are somewhat on track… who knew losing sight just for a moment could lead to so many problems.

There’s a lesson to be learnt here definitely…

Your choices will either get you places you want to be or the will fuck you up real nice!

I seek serenity!

Even though I could see a long and difficult life in the near future but at least I clearly see it. As my sister so correctly put “It’s time to get out of the skies and live in the real world on earth”. So that’s priority number one for me now.. Live on earth and live a real life!

I was thinking I’d start this again by capturing the things that matter to me for that particular day… So here goes…

1. I worry… I worry a lot for my family. I hope the ones making the decisions are making the right one.
2. I curse those who have caused my family all this pain… even if they’re also to blame for being so gullible.
3. My boss is a person I can depend on even if there’s no one else who would help me.
4. I have to stay focused.

Bless…

~ShaZ~

GoSh...

Boo!!!

It's so dusty here.... hehehe...

***takes feather duster and puts on apron****

Let's get sexy!

let's get dirty! O_0

"Imagine" - John Lennon - Tucson Tribute - (Sam Tsui / AHMIR cover)

I love this! Somehow Sam's voice has a way of touching my heart!

sHe'S DeFiNiTeLy gOinG tO eAt mE...

"have you ever seen a more beautiful guy?!"

~drool~

Hey Boo,

Just thought I'd write something in this ten minutes.

1. The awkward moment between NMS, AAR, RR and me today...

NMS comes in to see AAR about something and acts like I am not there. Goes on talking to AAR and finally...

NMS: I see you Shazrin and I am not ignoring you...

Me: Errrr. I might as well be invisible... *stupid face*

NMS: yeah you should have that Harry Potter cloak on maybe.

Me: *smirk* *start to laugh*

NMS: I seem to attract all these weird students... *shakes head like she's seem blasphemy*

AAR: Don't worry Raja, I am included in that list. You're not doing anything that I've not done with Prof Nik for years and years... *to the rescue*

*we all started laughing profusely like mad people*

The funny thing is I didn't know what I was laughing about. It wasn't funny at all. No sir. Not at all. Crazy!

2. My boss is nice when he wants to be. He just need support. Lots of it!

3. Some people go too far. I am really not sure what they're up to but they're really not being smart. And no playing their cards right.

4. I feel like I am not making my worth! I hope my boss doesn't feel the same!

5. My 3 page a day target is f*cked.

6. I will do my best to make today a productive day!

7. I am to keep a daily list!

8. The Damage Control and Mitigation Action Plan need to be drawn out! Quickly!

9. I am worried for my children!

10. I should be more thankful. I should do my best to make my worth!

Bless...

~ShaZ

Sent from my iPhone

wORk

Hey Boo,

If you don't take charge of your life now, you might never be able to again. It's important to act before things get out of hand.

1. Life has been super stressful lately. There's just too much catching up on me at the same time. I can't keep up.

2. In times of hardship... people who you least expects lends a helping hand. I was touched. There is kindness in this world after all. Thanks Babu and Kak Raz!

3. Work is hard, but I need this job!

4. No physical progress on my thesis. It'll have to go soon. I can't play cat and mouse with NMS forever.

Boss is back. Next time then.

Bless...

~ShaZ

Sent from my iPhone

aBouT GeTTinG oN wiTh LiFe...

... about life...

Hey Boo,

"Life is hard... but it is still good"

I read this in an email forwarded to me and I though to myself... Sometimes I complain too much about my life.

So:

1.
If you don't go to the gym and eat like a pig... You'll get fat! It's simple really!

2.
If you see an opportunity, grab it... If you don't it might just pass you by...

3.
Sometimes you do things that don't make much sense. At times these are required... Sacrifices need to be made... in order to progress nothing is beneath you! Nothing!

4.
Interesting conversation:

AAR: You look good...
Me: How so?
AAR: You look more calm...
Me: You know what that is?... ACCEPTANCE... *laughs*
AAR: *laughs* Yeah... You don't look bitchy...
Me: Hurmmm... the bitchiness has long drained away... *sobs in my heart*

5.
A new opportunity may arise... I'll grab this one for sure as soon as it materializes!

6.
Bill need to be paid... No matter how your monetary situation is...

7.
Afternoon shifts on the eve of Eid sucks!

8.
Meeting close friends is good for you! They give support and cheer you up... No fancy word required. It is as simple and as beautiful as that!

9.
I was labelled as complex! Sometimes I just think that equates to just plain CRAZY!

10.
If you're poor... You cannot afford to he lazy!

Bless...

~ShaZ

Sent from my iPhone

ToDaY's pOsT iS aBoUT pErCePTioNs...

... Perceptions...

Hey Boo,

Sometimes you need to put up a drama because people expect you to...

Sometimes... it's simply because you feel like throwing a fit...

Sometimes you put up a drama to... help?!

1. There are things that you can share with friends. There are things that you can share with your mother. There are things that you can share with your wife. There are things that you can share with your boss. And there are things that you can share on Twitter. But... there aren't many things that you can share with all! Different people will have different take on things. Not all will be forgiving. It's a fact!

2. Interesting conversation that I had with AAR:

Me: Is it okay if I flirted?!
AAR: Man or woman?
Me: Both.
AAR: Are you sleeping with them?
Me: Then it's not flirting. That's adultery.
AAR: True. Then it's okay!
Me: *smiles*

3. I am having all these reactions on twitter. Hurmmm.

4. I found out that my wife frequents my blog.

5. Change of Raya plans. Instead of Terengganu I am going back to my in-laws in Penang. Been so for the past three years. This is one of those I can't explain to all parties. Let it be. Say what you want. I am doing what I got to do.

6. I only bought two cargo shorts and two t-shirts for me in Bangkok. I'll just wear those and one of my old jeans for Raya.

7. I think I am most honest when I am with my iPhone. Hurmmm. I ought to just stop there!

8. I ought to find a job. But if I do I'd have to live with the monthly pay. How can I when we spend at least 6k a month. Who's going to give me 6k? No one that's who. But it's difficult. It is.

9. I finally got a new wallet. Courtesy of the Mrs. Thanks darls...

10. I feel so fat and bloated lately. After Raya I should make it a point to pickup where I left off at TF. I miss TF.

11. I had a can of Necafe's Mocha. The second can since... Things aren't always as bad as they seem. Only you make it as bad as it seems. Or even worse.

12. I am being vague for reasons in #1.

Bless...

~ShaZ

Sent from my iPhone

hEaDaChE...

Hey Boo,

I missed the last few days of blogging.

1. Life seems a bit confusing after I came back from Bangkok. Perhaps 5 days out of sync. So many things out of control.

2. Bills to pay!!! Bills to pay!!!

3. I am slowly getting more addicted yo Twitter! Who's to say it's a bad thing. I am happy after all.

4. My thesis... Enough said. I really really really need to jumpstart the damned thing back into action.

5. Guilt: do I feel guilty? Hurmmm. I don't know. But I don't think so.

6. I am having such a headache. I need a break. Wasn't five days in Bangkok enough?! No it was not. Not at all!!!

Bless...

ShaZ

ReMoRsE... iT cHaNgeS pEoPLe!

Hey Boo,

My only bother is that it doesn't really bother me. My remorse is that I don't feel remorse.

1. I always tell my friends: "Draw a line and never ever cross it". What if I didn't draw a line. What if I didn't want to draw a line. I am confused.

2. Bangkok has been really draining. We went on a shopping spree all over Bangkok... Whizzing from Pratunam Centre to MBK to Yaowarat to JatuJak and back. OMG. But it's quite an experience and I think we were quite objective and we didn't do bad at all. Not at all bad!

3. I wanted to spoil myself silly here. But in these 5 days I only managed one foot massage and one oil massage. Both of which I enjoyed. I'll miss Bangkok for this.

4. I am changed! Enough said.

changed

5. I look forward to going home. Even if it is in a cramped airplane. AirAsia sucks sometimes but it gets us there!!! Cheaper!!!

6. I need a private blog!

7. I miss more people now. Is that okay? Is there a norm or some sort of guideline to who you can and cannot miss? I need yo think about this!

Bless...

~ShaZ

tRy To pOsT ViA eMaiL

Hey Boo,

Hope this works...

bAnGkOK...

Hey Boo,

The flight to Bangkok got delayed. Have some time so I thought I'd blog. 

1. I typed the post halfway yesterday and fell asleep. Hurmm. Must've been pretty tired. 

2. Not much progress with AAR yesterday. Too many distractions in my opinion. But work is work.

3. Met a really nice guy on twitter. He's studying medicine in Egypt. It's been a while since I've felt that way chatting with someone. :-) wonder how old he is though.

4. Still on chapter 2 for the thesis. I don't like that there's no progress. Don't know how different I should do things though. 

5. I miss meanie...

6. It's too bad I cannot post pictures from my iPhone onto my blog. 

Bless...

~ShaZ

cOmPLeTe wAsTe...

Hey Boo,

Today was a complete waste!

1. I felt so drained. I slept for half an hour in the afternoon. I have not done this for ages. It must be all this activity...
2. I was accused for not paying attention... For not talking... I don't know how else to act. Perhaps I was wrong. For the sake of those under my care, I am going to let this one slide. I am going to man up and just bear with it.
3. Tonight I am working late again. I wish it wouldn't be turned into an excuse! Amen.
4. Chapter 2 has not moved for days. I hate this.
5. I miss going to the gym. I feel so lethargic and bloated. I wish I could squeeze an extra 3 hours each day for gym. I was talking to AAR, he's right... At the gym we are disconnected from all this nonsense from our lives. We are there to workout. Absolutely rejuvenating!

I miss going to the gym...

6. I hope I can squeeze in some time for Chapter 2 tonight.
7. I miss meanie.
Bless...
~ShaZ

ShE DiDn'T BiTe mY HeaD oFF...

Hey Boo,

List of excuses for missing daily posts:

1: life has been pretty hectic these past few days.

2: mixed feeling causes emotional confusion.

3: tension, tension and more tension. Draining effect on my emotional being!

Haha...

Talk about being a spoilt and selfish bitch person.

She didn’t bite my head off (from Friday)

1. I went to see Prof. Nik on Friday. I was in IPS to settle registrations matters and I saw her car, so I figured I’d drop in to say hi... sooner or later I am going to have to see her anyway, so why not now.

2. Sometimes you get carried away... especially when making someone out to be the monster. In this case, on this particular day (I should say), she’s not the monster after all. She was quite nice really. I was and still am happy for this.

I am happy with this!

Bless…

~ShaZ

wRiTe sOmEtHinG iN tHe moRNiNg...

Hey Boo,

Let’s start today’s post in the morning for a change.

1. Yesterday was almost a complete waste. I made very little progress on Chapter 2. Even though the idea was there, opportunity to sit quietly and calmly in front of my notebook decided to be scarce. How funny life turns out to be sometimes. But it’s okay. Today is another day, and we have decided not to give up. Yet!

2. I dreamt that I met meanie last night. And we had a conversation. I am having mixed feelings about this but I feel good... closure, after all, is not always putting things a box and storing it in the attic... maybe I don’t want to forget. How about that huh?

3. Apparently, the little drama in DOE is not over. Well, it doesn’t concern me much. I am just taking notice because of my private FB invasion earlier. I should go by don’t know don’t care with this one.

4. I am going to Bangkok next week. I plan to spoil myself rotten there. The mission now is to conclude this damned thesis before I fly...

I have many plans to spoil myself rotten!

5. Business seems to be catching up. Which is a good thing because no matter how much I like lazing about at home doing whatever I like, one needs money to get by on this earth. Closed a few deals. Alhamdulillah.

6. I have more friends connected to me virtually than in real life. Is this healthy? Well, I guess it’s because I don’t go out much. I am happy to be finally connected to Ahmad Fairuz, Nellisa Hilman, Aznatasya and Sasha again. How I miss talking with them.

7. I have the mind of a bitch. Every time I start to work (on my thesis especially) and someone or something interrupts me. My mind automatically switches to the “I am a victim in all this” mode. This is selfish, I know it is. I can’t help it. At least by knowing I can refrain myself from acting on it. Silence in this case is best!

8. I feel smothered sometimes. It would not be appropriate to talk about losing freedom because of responsibilities as a father, as a husband, as a son, as a brother and as a student. I know this but I can’t help but miss the times of freedom that I had. Perhaps everyone feels this way. I don’t know. I love my family too much. So it’s fine. It’s an emotional investment that I am considering as profitable. This is contradicting and it doesn’t make sense. But hey... what does?!

Bless...

~ShaZ

BiTs anD PieCeS oF mY ThOuGhTs...

Dear Boo,

Here we are, another day has passed and still I am overdue...

1. The thing I find most sad is, whilst I am struggling for progress, it’s the ones that I love most that are emotionally tolling me most. This is a selfish statement. I know very well that it is... but it is honestly how I feel. Perhaps they are unintentional but painful and draining nonetheless.

2. I would like to talk about meanie as well. For some reason the meanie issue never seems to be completely flushed out of my system. I am still touched. meanie still occupies my thoughts. How stupid I am. I know this. But still, I refuse to smart up... refuse to man up. Sometimes I think that there may be some truth in meanie’s accusation. Silly me.

3. AAR has been very helpful. More than anyone else now…

4. For reasons that I am unaware of, I find myself preferring silence off late. I guess it is because of the many unreasonable situations and conversations that I’ve had to put up with, I have lost taste altogether for talking. I’d rather be silent. But silence begets crisis for reasons I also don’t comprehend. Ironically, conversations lead to arguments, and arguments leads to silence, and silence as we have established, begets crisis. So I figured, I’d cut down the work and start with silence!

5. Sometimes I feel like running away!

... contemplate running away...

6. It is 1:00am and I am still in UM. Sadly, Chapter 2 is still not behind me. I guess I should make haste for home and continue there.

7. I installed TweetDeck on my PC and iPhone and I like it very much!

8. Drama should not be allowed to run too long. They get out of hand! Some people are better suited for an incubated environment!

9. I think men are beautiful!

10. Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp and emails keep my face buried on my iPhone.

11. I love everything that is Pink!

Bless…

~ShaZ